No matter how hard you try (or don't try for that matter) date night can fall flat. Plans fail, attitudes arise, communication break downs occur, expectations deflate and it just sucks!
A couple weeks ago (yep that would be after I started writing on how to have a great date night) Ramy and I had one of the worse date nights in quite awhile. Ramy's plans for our night didn't pan out, there was a miscommunication with our sitter, so she didn't arrive until well after 8pm, and we were both tired and cranky from our busy day. We were okay to rise above all of this as we walked out the door. We were just going to jump in the car and enjoy some time outside of the house. But we weren't even a mile away from the house when I said something with the intentions of being funny and it was misunderstood. When he questioned why I was being like that, I got defensive then he got defensive, then we both shut down. The rest of the night was a wash.
I hate when this happens! I sat there going through ways I could reverse what just happened but irritation kept bubbling up and my attitude shifted from wanting to find a solution to focusing on the problem again. It was hard not to conclude that Date Night was useless or a waste of time. But I know better.
Date night is dependent on people, and people are not perfect in anything we do. The hope is that you can get it right the majority of the time. And sometimes it just takes practice to get there. It's important to start the night off by choosing to have a good attitude. Remember that things will arise to make the night imperfect, but your outlook will help you get through it. (I learned this best through Karin and Brandon's date they shared last week.) I also have learned to choose my battles. Sometimes it just isn't worth it nit picking everything that bothers me. Especially on date night, I try my best to let the little things just roll off me. We also have made a rule to not discuss "hot topics" on our date. For instance, don't have a budget meeting during date night dinner...it never ends well! And if in the end the night still sucks, make sure that you dust yourself off and try, try again next week!
What's your solution for getting through a crappy date night?
I'm glad to know we aren't the only ones who have these kind of date nights sometimes. Usually one of us will give to the other and come back and make an amend. We kind of take turns on it. Then we make each other laugh and that completely lightens the mood. I have to say Corey is way better at making me laugh than I am him. There have been a few times we just couldn't recover the night no matter how hard we tried. What's important to us is that we tried.
ReplyDeleteHehe. This is so true. Saturdays have become our day together. And we most always have ended up with a "heated" discussion on Saturdays. REALLY? And then I act surprised each time. Well, On Friday of this past week. we almost got into it on Friday about getting into it on Saturday. WHAT? ;) so Blake made a statement about our past few saturdays and then, we decided to stop. be aware and pray. We verbalized the importance to be aware of the hyper sensitivity and give each other extra grace that day. It turned out to be one of our sweetest weekends. YES, Saturday date day, turned into Sunday GREAT day. So, perhaps, some preparation of expectation is always good.
ReplyDeleteGreat BLOG, btw. I Enjoy reading every story. :)
I agree about it being good the majority of the time...but I gotta say that I guess I set the bar too high. I am constantly feeling let down by our date nights b/c i am expecting too much. It's really hard to accept that the flirting there used to be is just gone...and now it always just reverts to kid-talk.
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